Dread and Desire

Oh! I am so in love with this heading 'Dread and Desire'. It encompasses me, carries me completely in it. Over a period of time, I realized that the things I desire for are actually the ones I dread and vice versa. This is so freaking true for every thing in my life, be it love, friends, job, money, family, fame, trust etc.

I somehow feel, it's not enough for me, never. Or may be I am just not enough for any of that. Now! That would require thinking from a totally different perspective :) I want to elude and I will. But if I have to believe Adam Brooks, the phony he is, would say, "Definitely, May be" :)

In rememberance of an unforgettable day!

Next day was a very important day of my life, a day which anyone would have cherished for their lifetime, once in a lifetime event and probably the materialization of a dream. Though I would avoid mentioning the occasion here as it came pretty early in my life and I am still unable to understand why I was the chosen one for prosecuting it.

Nevertheless, Next day was D-Day for me and here I was celebrating convocation marked by departure of some of my best friends from college which obviously was associated with merrymaking and drinking, apologies not just drinking, it’s gulping till you are sloshed and wasted.

Here’s an index of that night, time wise:

9 pm: Convocation Ended
10 pm: Dinner
11 pm: Back to college
11.30 pm: Drinking Started
11.35 pm: Whisky
11.45 pm: Vodka
11.55 pm: Beer
12.05 am: More Whisky
12.06 am: More Vodka
12.07 am: Rum
12.10 am: Something
12.11 am: Something
12.12 am – 2 am: Something

So, it was at 2 0’ clock in night, in a herd of bewildered young men that I recall about the D-Day the next day and miraculously also summoned up my thoughts to recall that I have to give a speech on this D-Day!

So, here I started writing, barely distinguishing anything and blurred vision. Wrote 2 pages, slept at 4 am and woke up at 8 am and delivered speech at 10 am. Swear to god I was still shivering and not in control still at the time I was reading my address, it was only later that I read it and thought of sharing it with everyone –

The occasion was Sports Day for a School in Chennai,

Respected blah blah.., a very good morning to all of you.
Right at the outset let me extend my earnest thanks to XYZ School Management and ABC Association for inviting me to this elite school and giving me an opportunity to rejoice my schooldays.
Today as I see your face red with determination, eyes twinkling with a will of achievement & I recall the undying learning one can have from the life journey of Lance Armstrong & V.Chandrashekar (Former TN T.T Player) “Never Quit”. As of now, I will reserve my comments about building a career in sports but nevertheless sports in absolute sense is undoubtedly a great character builder & real time teacher of various skill sets like team management, perseverance, perfectionism & enterprising attitude.

Though Sports may not be the final destination yet it is always a means to achieve it. People are working world wide for social upliftment & empowerment using sports as a medium. To speak in more realistic sense, in today’s life we all know it’s not theoretical but holistic education which is required for the overall development of a child, my appeal to all of you parents is please please (emphasis) let have your ward a first hand experience with what real life is, let him come out and break open the virtual shackles of internet and T.V, let him use his mind not only for calculating 2+2 but for realistic strategic planning, let him come out and play, let him enjoy his life rather then fooling around, we wanna see our lovable happy, don’t we? Gandhiji once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Today is the time to embark upon this change. This hour is the time to realize where we stand & how we want our future to be? I leave the choice in your hands….

Aah :) a neat attempt by my drunken part, I would say :)

A Wassail

Made this a point now, whenever I am back to writing down a blog will curse every damn thing which contributed in it's birth. I am still not able to overcome my feeling of considering blogging as lame and only by those who consider themselves as high over life or among those who doesn't have anyone to talk to right then.
Well, I am one of the aforementioned guy today and this post is a toast to the night that happened to be tonight.
There were 4 people, myself, Lady X, Lady Y and Gentleman Z (Identity concealed on demand)
X,Y,Z are good friends and have been together from past 1-2 year (God Knows!)they are so close mates that Y tells X 'I love you' and X replies 'I know and it's true' while Z was looking towards me smirking over this incident.

Few quotable quotes:
Y: I was out with 2 boys and 1 girl in Pondycherry, I proposed one boy only to come across the fact that 2 mins back he has proposed the other girl. ( I am able to connect myself to the plight of the other left-so-alone boy)
X to waiter: Do you have any Hard Drinks which are sweet in taste and has alcohol in it?
Z: Once I got high on grass and wanted everything to be white in front of me, not just white. "Milky White"
Y (after falling of from bike because of drunk driving): This is all because of stupid scooter and this idiotic sand.
X to me:
Your bike is so bad, it stops at every depression.
Oh My God! You are so mean.
You are calling me over-weight! me?
You really talk like a 22 year old.
X(on being asked, do you drink?): aaaaaaaaa... will have to think, I don't know. aaaaaaa.
Z(on being asked about his crushes): Yeah, there are lot's of them. Most of them are married now!
Y/X: You don't know how to take snaps also, the last one you took, I am looking so horrible in that.
X: The most craziest thing I did(jovially)! is actually not that crazy(lousily)
Y: The most craziest thing I did! I ran out with my boy friend and stayed with her for 3 full days but it's a lie. Dammit!

eat-drink-puke-drink-puke-sleep is what has been followed till date and this one was way beyond it. Beach side dinner along with a special made for the lady drink, a chance to trip and feeling of affection after receiving the messages of safe-reach. All in all a different and dainty hang-out with a bunch of newly made friends.

In Adam Shankman way "A Night to Remember"

Remembrance!

Well, chuck it down. Not my cup of tea, I say! With the last entry around 2 years back and very basic knowledge of blogging which involves asking Mamme to remind me my forgotten blog id to incessantly waste time in beautifying this web-space, ending up in choosing black color for the whole of it :)

To cut long story short, it's crap! I feel blogging is nothing but a random expression of emotions done by some stud people which possible make them feel higher than life. Don't mistake my presence over here, today is a special day and apart from the unworthiness of 10X10 space for me to jot my emotions, I dedicate possibly the last entry for the next one year to all my mates who are graduating soon from our college.

Sentiments may arise, emotions may overflow, tear might roll down if I think about the beautiful and glorious moments spent in the last 4 years. The show must go on, everyone says. I say, will there be any show at all? Answer is a resounding yes! For god's sake I will be along with other friends of mine, who shall stay back to complete their degree. Will that show be complete? I doubt that, we will not have Hulla again who can put fundaes on everything in life from Black Hole up there to vice versa. We will not have Neta, his unusal experiments with Guitar and chirpy smile which instigates and motivates you. Bhondu and his pepe jeans, bulging belly and cheesy PJ’s. Bachcha, his uninterrupted and crystal vision about getting 'high' in life. Baba, his prodigious and larger then life image. S9 and his kuntry style. Show will be on, we will still live or say survive but this moth will suck the blood from our life and if not long then atleast for time being will create a silence which resembles graveyard.

Whatever! I know it sucks, too pessimistic. While I come to the end of this post and words begins to disappear due to blur in my eyes, I would like to convey to all my graduating friends that you will be missed and unlike Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption, you need not declare, your words are imprinetd in my heart "I was here".

This is my first ever Blog!!!!!!!!!

Hey,i too can write blog!!!!!!!
watch this space for new and funny incidents in my life.

Varun aka Tattu aka Sunny